I'd almost forgotten about Site Meter, which has been sitting there quietly at the bottom of my blog. Very useful, you can see how many hits you're getting, who's visited your blog lately, etc., where they are in the world. Unless they have masked their IP address, which usually indicates they're Up to No Good. I was mildly interested (not excited) to discover that hits to this blog peaked last June at over 2,000 for the month. They have since subsided. Credit crunch, no doubt. I'm obviously a luxury some cannot afford.
The person in Saudi Arabia who googled "Beast exciting woman", landed here and ended up staying 23 minutes on 19 January, is obviously either a very slow reader or found my blog more bizarre than the material he (or she) was looking for. If he (or she) was working for a secret service, I recommend they put in for a posting to Wales or New Zealand. I think you should know, Scarlet, he (or she) exited (possibly excited) in your direction. Keep the ferrets locked up.
You will no doubt remember the time I acquired a lurker from Tripoli because I happened to mention in despatches the devilishly handsome and intelligent Libyan President G*d**fi. (Hello! Back again? Long time no see, why don't you stay for some couscous and a glass of mint tea?) It freaked me out a bit at the time, I don't mind admitting, and it was only after Quarsan told me that being stalked by foreign (or better, your own) secret services was the blogging equivalent of a Pulitzer Prize that I cheered up, and even chuckled a bit at the thought of two goons from Tripoli running around Brussels looking for a woman with a fruit basket on her head.
I wish that President B*r*ck Ob*ma was as paranoid as Colonel G*d*fi. I've scrutinised my SiteMeter records, and apart from the usual suspects (Brussels, Reading, Cluj) there was no indication that I was attracting any attention from Washington. There was a 4-minute hit from "Unknown organisation" in the USA a couple of days ago. Dare I hope? Could someone be preparing the ground for His visit to Brussels in a few months? If so, I would like it placed on the record that the Presidential Suite has been swept, new curtains have been hung, a new wardrobe is on order, and the bed will be warmed by April. I'll even clear out the broom cupboard for the goons.
He'll no doubt have a couple of Kevs in tow P.S. Art lovers will be excited (or possibly exited) to hear that part of McChe's lost oeuvre has recently turned up in Italy, and may be viewed on his website here. Don't distract him too long with flattering comments, he's nearly finished painting Milady's Chamber.
26 comments:
I wish I had your ability to decipher site meter - so often it is 'unknown.' I used to get excited when someone was on for hours but one of the boys pointed out they had probably wandered away from the 'puter. I sometimes answer the phone in the middle of something and return to find I've been in someone's comment box for hours. What must they think?
Congrats on your numbers.
I too am exited by unknowns with huge ? Most frustrating.
Sx
Do you think you could disguise yourself as a chambermaid, milady? Finding out what kind of pyjamas Barry Obama wears would be a scoop worthy of any woman's magazine.
Maybe the fragrant BO has disguised his IP, so that he can attend to you without La Belle Michelle from guessing why he may now take a closer interest in matters European.
When one undergoes a higher form of vetting for Her Majesty's Civil Service, you have to declare if you have a blog and which ones you visit regularly. At least they'd be kept amused.
Site meter frightens me: It'd be ok to see I got 12 visits corresponding to the 12 comments, but 1000 visits and 988 couldn't be arsed? No.
I can offer you better pictures of the Gadjodildos than the one you've got there! Please send a stamped, addressed brown-paper envelope and a postal order for 5 shillings to the usual address.
I don't trust the site meter thingamabob..I believe that Google just makes it up so that we'll keep blogging and eventually agree to tack on some adverts.
What is even more confusing is Blogshares. You can have 3 incoming links and zero outgoing links and no comments and yet somehow be worth $15Million...on the other hand you can have 69 incoming links and 50 comments per post and be valued at a couple hundred bucks.
You are actually penalized for having a blogroll..does that make any sense? I'd be more concerned if it was real moolah but still..wtf?
Pat, does your location show up on your IP? I don't see any hits from your part of the country.
Scarlet, have you had any visitors googling "scarlet women with ferrets" lately?
GB, Barry's pyjamas is an intriguing thought. I wonder if he could be persuaded to sleep in the Bough?
Madame DeFarge, that sounds a bit like the American visa application form which asks are you Up to No Good? To which every aspiring Jihadist would of course answer Yes.
Gadjo, you're obviously an accountant by profession. Most of the hits are just passing trade, or pinching your photographs. Talking of which, the five bob postal order is on its way to "Gadjo Dildo, Cluj, Romania". I'm sure you're it will find you.
Donn, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you (see Quote of the Week). I sold my Blogshares and invested in Royal Bank of Scotland.
several years ago I was flattered to learn on my first excursion as a volunteer in a small town in Vietnam that I was being 'shadowed' by a local government official and the residential phone was being tapped.
Not so flattered when an unwanted admirer bribed officials to obtain that phone number and call me all hours of the day and night for a date
Espionage is all fun and games until dwarves want to date you.
Hit!
Hit...
Hit...
Hit...
Miss...
Daphnée, I like your theory.
I get hit on for "Gucci slim woman"; I feel I'm often a disappointment. No ferrets have shown up yet...
Sx
I appear to be the prime destination for people interested in ipecachuana.
I'm about due ferrets.
Every time I look at my Sitemeter readings, at least 3 or 4 people have turned up looking for "Naked Bearded Men"
Yet somehow I can't imagine any of them would stay around longer if there were any pics of me naked. It's not a pleasant sight.
Nursie, was it a short romance? When you're being followed by spooks, just go home. Where you were probably going anyway.
Krimo, thanks for getting my stats up! Although it's more correct to call me Ms.
Scarlet, a ferret is just a mink that's fallen on hard times.
Kev, I love that song: The Girl from Ipecachuana ...
Kim, you'd be surprised what turns people on. Or perhaps not. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Any fans from Guantanamo Bay?
Statistics are as the forecast ( météo ) !!!
Their reliabilities and their performances reveal themselves when the clouds is passed!
I have some tested several, not one does indicate the same thing !?
Peut-être qu'une boule de cristal quantique ?
faire le vide dans notre esprit, et dessinez des cercles avec votre souris sur la boule de cristal...
Daphne: ' Pat, does your location show up on your IP? I don't see any hits from your part of the country. '
I'm constantly hitting you and you never write you never phone...
Please what is IP. If it is something I can adjust I will- willingly.
Bart, they'd be the ones on orange.net?
Crabtree, tu veux des statistiques? 40% des mes visiteurs sont en GB, 19% en Belgique (dont je représente un quart!) 11% aux USA, 6% en France.
59,8% utilisent Windows XP. Et 7% sont à l'université de Cambridge! Noblesse oblige.
Pat, your IP address is your unique number which is assigned to your computer and which shows up on site meter. Your boys have done a good job - yours only gives away that you are in UK, I could only identify you by what time you'd visited. I'd keep it that way if I were you. Woman of mystery!
any reason why you've got stat counter and hit counter? mine must be broken, I get hardly any visitors at all.
Yep, I guess that's the reason, Jake.
The search key-words can be very interesting at times, I agree.
:)
I get the most hits from search engines on my "Naked Lady" post of last year.
It has occurred to me that only a child or a half-wit would type "naked lady" into a search engine.
Should I put that "adult verification" thing on my blog ?
It's probably just a dialogue box with a "Are you eighteen - Yes/No" choice - enough to filter out the half-wits, but not the kiddies.
Discuss.
the MITM reads your blog no matter where he is. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge* xoxoxox
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