JUST AN AU REVOIR

Here's looking at you, kids

Readers, I am taking a leave of absence. It's not you, honestly. I just feel the need to hang up my bananas for a while and have a lie down. Being this fabulous takes a tremendous effort, and I have been humbled recently by such grandes dames as, for example, Clarissa Pouncer, who can speak fluent Latin and German, can stand around at a cocktail party for hours in high heels whilst simultaneously seducing Scottish engineers, gets comments in the high 40's and 50's and does it all so effortlessly - and she's not much older than moi! There was a time when I could disport my maracas with as much brio, but I feel lately that it's all a little too much at my time of life. I suspect my youthful excesses are catching up on me and, like a shooting star, my brilliance will burn intensely but not late into the night. I am therefore going to devote my remaining years to mastering the cryptic crossword and helping confused young men back on the path to a useful life.

Boys! Boys! Help me back to my bedchamber ...

ARMISTICE

The final scene from Stanley Kubrick's "Paths of Glory":

OUT OF THE POTTING SHED

Have you ever wondered what happened to the Flowerpot Men? They left England due to homophobia in the BBC, and now are living as a couple in a Belgian park.


Next week, we reveal the bizarre sleeping habits of the Teletubbies.

WOO HOO!!

I don't post mid week as a rule, but I just wanted to share the moment :

DON'T LOOK DOWN

"Yo soy un hombre sincero, de donde cresce la palma .... "

By next weekend we will have a new President. I'm keeping my fingers crossed it'll be the young good-looking one. It will indeed be a historic moment: the first time a President of the United States has been younger than me! His slogan is "Change". Which is about all I've got in my purse this weekend. Austerity measures are going to be brought in very soon.

In tribute to Obama's Hawaiian upbringing, I leave you with the Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain showing that you don't have to be black to have soul. Hit it, dudes!