L'APPEL DU 23 OCTOBRE

WARNING! THIS POST IS EXCESSIVELY POLITICAL AND A BIT RANTING

Spliffy Cameron has obviously been reading my blog and I must thank him for his announcement this week which has persuaded me that it's not the moment to think about returning to Blighty on a permanent basis. Perhaps by 2020, when I am due to retire. Except thanks to Spliffy and his chums, it'll now be 2021, and by the time I get there, the place will look like Detroit.

Detroit, Michigan

Half a million jobs cut in the public service, plugs pulled on charities, not to mention cuts to the BBC. And all those benefit scroungers will be forced back to work --- er, where, exactly? As people lose their income, mortgages will not be paid, houses will be abandoned. There will be no new social housing built. There will be more homeless on the streets. There will be more crime. And fewer coppers, thanks to the cuts. Big Society my ARSE.


When I was in Lagos, Nigeria, many lives ago, it occurred to me that it would be M.Thatcher's ideal world: no public services, no safe and comfortable public transport, roads full of potholes, decent hospitals and schools all private, if you wanted a guarantee of water or electricity supply and you were rich enough, you dug your own borehole and bought a generator. As a result the ordinary people of the ninth biggest producer of oil in the world were illiterate, starving and -- surprise, surprise -- just a bit dishonest sometimes. If I'd had the misfortune to be born in a country like that, I'd do everything I could to get out too -- even fibbing on an immigration form.

Lagos, Nigeria

Meanwhile, have you noticed that there seem to be more and more ludicrously expensive toys and playgrounds for the obscenely rich? As an avid reader of "How to Spend It", I am increasingly of the opinion that the plutocrats have taken over the asylum. At the expense of those who got plenty of nuttin'. Bankers are still getting multi-million pound bonuses. Chief Executives are still getting million-pound salaries. The government is now full of millionaires, some of whom don't even pay tax in the UK. And those who bailed them out -- yes, you, the taxpayer -- are now going to get your reward. A good stuffing.


After the disappointment of "New Labour", I naively thought that the "new" Conservatives under Cameron might be a different, gentler kind of Tory, and that the restraining hand of Nick Clegg might keep their divisive policies in check. As someone wrote in The Independent this week, Cameron's reforms have surpassed the Iron Lady's wildest dreams.

You can smile dearie

I have never liked bullies. This has only served to push me further to the left. There is only one language these people understand. I am going to the barricades, comrades. I shall finally fulfil that fantasy of being Michelle of ze Resistance, trafficking arms and transmitters under my Aquascutum raincoat to the trade unionists hiding in the hills, and talking in a funny accent. Excuse me a minute while I pop out and buy some white ankle socks.




Citoyennes! Citoyens! The lights are going out all over Europe! Formez vos bataillons! This could be your finest hour.

Your country needs you