I have been infuriated of late at the lack of progress with local administration. In July and August it is pointless trying to get any response from anyone - the bank, the tax authorities, the landlord."I feel like a mushroom," I told Bert. "They keep me in the dark and feed me bullshit."
"You are more like a twuffle zan a mushwoom, Daphne" he replied.
"Is that because I am precious and rare, perfumed and expensive?" I smiled winsomely, twirling my curls with a come-hither look.
"Nein, schatzi," he replied teutonically. "It is because everyone asks me where ze hell I dug you up!"
Come-hither turned to wither instantly. Bert dodged the impact of my fully weighted handbag with a neat body swerve. Being a former German international footballer, he is methodical and good in defence. He thought he was very clever making such a good joke in English.
But I had the last word. "If I'm a truffle, who is the pig?" I shouted from the 4th floor window at he roared off down the street in his little tank.
And they say Germans have no sense of humour.
"You are more like a twuffle zan a mushwoom, Daphne" he replied.
"Is that because I am precious and rare, perfumed and expensive?" I smiled winsomely, twirling my curls with a come-hither look.
"Nein, schatzi," he replied teutonically. "It is because everyone asks me where ze hell I dug you up!"
Come-hither turned to wither instantly. Bert dodged the impact of my fully weighted handbag with a neat body swerve. Being a former German international footballer, he is methodical and good in defence. He thought he was very clever making such a good joke in English.
But I had the last word. "If I'm a truffle, who is the pig?" I shouted from the 4th floor window at he roared off down the street in his little tank.
And they say Germans have no sense of humour.
20 comments:
Hurrah!!!
Geeze, how long does one have to wait for a post from you!!!
That's telling him the swine!
Sense of humour perhaps but zero points for gallantry... I think you definitely won that argument Daphne - the schwein!
Banana -- a little of me goes a long way. But I am flattered. (Waving gloved hand in royal fashion).
Pat -- a bit late, but I told him. And the whole street.
f:lux -- I think I was the gallant one for not mentioning the World Cup 1966.
Where is the Gorilla today? He's usually about on a Wednesday. Maybe he's out canvassing for one of the candidates in the Congo elections. Or perhaps he's met up with Bart and they're getting drunk together on jungle juice in a bush bar.
i'd avoid you and your huge handbag anyday. i swear you put bricks in it.
If he's not driving a BMVWumbleU then I'd drop him from your team sheet, unlss the tank is sweet little Merc.
Next time make sure his balls cross the line girl! It's all in the wrist action.
That was a thoroughly entertaining read. I'm off to plagarize your archives.
I like the sound of Bert. Has he a younger brother?
Oh, dammit. I've just remembered I can't go out on the pull until the scar on me hoo-ha heals.
It's a bugger 'cos the old libido has fired right back up, and the crutches are a damn' good pulling device.
i'm so bored. nevermind, my bordom is totally irrevelant to this post. let's ponder about mushrooms and terrorism.
Welcome to my world, Apprentice and Kieran. Drop Bert? Certainly not, although I do leave him on the bench quite a lot. And it's a long time since I had my archives plagiarized, Kieran. I think I might enjoy it.
Aunty, scars are not what one wants on one's hoo-ha. Is that the same as a cha-cha? I imagine you use the crutches to whack your prey over the head before dragging them back to your web and devouring them.
Banana dear, you need a hobby. Have you considered petitpoint?
Where IS that damn ape?
Daph, I was under the impression a hoo-ha was the same as a ying-yang, but now with talk of cha-chas, I can't be sure and find myself doubting the existence of my own doo-da. Yet I can't believe it's not there any more. Hang on a mo'... Nope - it's definitely still there. Bother, that IS inconvenient. I wasn't expecting an existential crisis with my whatsit tonight.
I agree though that wounding, far less scarring, on or even near one's hoo-ha, ying-yang, cha-cha OR do-da can't be good. Hope you're healing beautifully AM. You sound in fine fettle.
Isn't it just 'down there'?
and Banana write 400 times BOREDOM please.
i'll try knitting and crocheting.
Here I am, milady. We gorillas dislike mushrooms, even though we will eat them.
The problems is that they look like insects from a distance, so it's very disappointing to find out that they're not. I've never quite trusted Germans since the incident with Felix Boobenstrausser, the fake physician from Dortmund.
Ah Fluffy, I was worried about you. Thought you might have encountered a predator - although even a lion would not be foolhardy enough to take on prey of your size. That would be really biting off more than it could chew.
Hahahaaa that's telling him, Daphne.
Very nice site! Turing files for a blackjack game Cialis logo emulator nintendo games Keywords internet merchant account free first-time lesbian stories rhinoplasty Desk pda physician reference Valtrex renova cialis wetrack.it amerimedrx a 2737 Michigan boating license tests Cellulitis pictures and images Usa zyban free consultation bank america online banking pay bills step step land rover defender windscreen wiper
That's a great story. Waiting for more. »
I have been looking for sites like this for a long time. Thank you! Tramadol info side effects of tramadal Compare lunesta with ambien
Post a Comment