Since our new lady orchestra leader Waltraud "Wally" von Klampwangler was brought in to pull the KNOB* out of a hole, so to speak, after our humiliation at Euroompah! 2011 in Athens, the image of the band has changed quite radically. She has sacked all the men! Bert, Wolfgang, Manfred, Siegfried and the others were literally drummed out of town by a muscular fraulein, and departed muttering unfavourable comparisons with Angela Merkel. It was unseemly to continue under the name of the long-departed Kurt Nachtnebel, so we took a vote on a new, modern handle for our all-girl line up. Irmgard's suggestion "Deutschland's International Ladies Dance Oompah" was rejected as too long. Marlene's "Blow Job" was considered a little on the risqué side. Inge came up with "Heavy Metal" which accurately represented the statuesque proportions of our members, particularly the percussion section. I was a little worried we might be confused with the band from the Kit Kat Club in "Cabaret".
Heidi, who is quite a young thing and influenced by hippity hop and all that, wanted us to cover some rap music: all very well, but a bunch of mostly middle-aged, German and rather buxom matrons are not going to be able to convey the oeuvre of Snoop Diddly Dogg very effectively, even if I did, as suggested by Heidi, change my name to "Mos Daph". Our following is not so much from Compton as Old Compton Street. We racked our Alzheimer-raddled brains. It has to convey our female nature, our international line-up (11 Germans and me) the metallic shininess of our instruments, our contemporary non-bierkeller dynamic and our sturdy corsetry. I'll leave it with you.
Hypnotic Brass Ensemble - nice boys but not a lot like us
The downsizing is opportune in view of the economic climate, and means I have been promoted to First (and only) Triangle. It's an ill wind, and all that. Bert has bequeathed me his instrument, and every time I do a little 'ting' I think of him. Wally has revamped our repertoire - no more Oktoberfest drinking songs, she wants to turn us into a sort of brass section of the Ivy Benson orchestra. Wally is determined that we can successfully combine traditional instruments and modern music within a gender perspective.
Who would have thought the trailblazers in all-women brass ensembles would hail from the land of the geisha? Tokyo Brass Style give coloured tights a whole new lease of life. Hit it, girls.
Heidi, who is quite a young thing and influenced by hippity hop and all that, wanted us to cover some rap music: all very well, but a bunch of mostly middle-aged, German and rather buxom matrons are not going to be able to convey the oeuvre of Snoop Diddly Dogg very effectively, even if I did, as suggested by Heidi, change my name to "Mos Daph". Our following is not so much from Compton as Old Compton Street. We racked our Alzheimer-raddled brains. It has to convey our female nature, our international line-up (11 Germans and me) the metallic shininess of our instruments, our contemporary non-bierkeller dynamic and our sturdy corsetry. I'll leave it with you.
Hypnotic Brass Ensemble - nice boys but not a lot like usWho would have thought the trailblazers in all-women brass ensembles would hail from the land of the geisha? Tokyo Brass Style give coloured tights a whole new lease of life. Hit it, girls.
*Kurt Nachtnebel Oompah Band
9 comments:
Is one of them Ms Scarlet? I'm told she does colourful Sax
There are some who would say that blowing on trumpets and horns is unladylike. I am not one of them. Do members of the wind section do breathing exercises, milady?
Tinging on a triangle - that's something I could do I think.
Strange there has never been an Ivy Benson tribute band.
Wendy: Miss Scarlet would make a welcome addition to our ensemble. Her fingering is legendary.
GB: It is a BRASS band, hence there is no wind section, GB. Do keep up.
Pat: Did you see "The Last of the Blonde Bombshells"? I believe all-girl bands were very popular during the war when the men were all away fighting.
How about the Oompah Repertoire of German And Swedish Members? Or are you by any chance from Surrey or Sussex or Scotland?
Ladies In Concert - Music Ensemble: LIC-ME
The Tokyo Brass clip has laid me low with Proustian regret at decades wasted in not being their roadie.
Bart - wash your brain out with soap and water.
Boyo - cold shower. Now.
It has to convey our female nature, our international line-up (11 Germans and me) the metallic shininess of our instruments, our contemporary non-bierkeller dynamic and our sturdy corsetry
Die Damen Berlei Chassis?
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