At last I have found my dream man. Sir Bonar Neville-Kingdom is the government's new Data Sharing Commissioner, and is demonstrating his computer-friendliness on a Facebook page and a clip on YouTube. He even 'Tweets'! He is divinely erudite - he can speak French, Swedish, Arabic, and even quotes poetry in High Persian - swoon-inducing stuff, girls! He makes Stephen Fry look like one of the Mitchell Brothers. He has that ineffable confidence that you only get from an Oxbridge education, but he's not elitist - he's a fan of Lily Allen for goodness sake - and is certainly up to speed with what's going on in the world of IT - here are some of his 'Tweets':
"It seems that my staff have put me on 'Face Book' and that I have several 'fans'. How very gratifying."
"I see no reason why taking a routine rectal DNA sample should be seen as any more instrusive than using words such as "Good day, Madam."
"Ah. Sandwiches. How lovely."
If you have a Face Book you can become a 'fan' and read the full extent of his wisdom, or even receive his 'Tweets' (whatever they are!). Here is his Face Book page.
Some people - Luddites, so they are - are opposed to the government's plan to centralize all information on the internet - or 'cloud computing' as the boffins call it. They say it's not secure. They say it could be misused, or even lost! Honestly, some people will pick holes in anything won't they, especially if it's going to improve our lives. Tall poppy syndrome. Sir Bonar, on the contrary, assures us that it is perfectly safe and will be securely encrypted by the boys in Cheltenham. It will be called the G-Cloud - not the G-spot, as Sir Bonar jokingly (I think) calls it. It will save the government loads of money - and no risk of losing our records any more - unless the internet blows up of course!
We, the taxpaying public, are apparently the owners of a number of Europe's banks now. Did they tell us when we would get our dividends? I don't even remember expressing an interest in buying a bank. Well apparently I'm a part owner of Dexia now, and don't even have a say in how it's run. The bankers, on the other hand, who caused all this mess, are still getting massive bonuses. I must have missed something somewhere, as I can't quite understand how this works. I'm sure they know what they're doing. It's just me, I'm too dim to understand. I'm going to write to Sir Bonar to see if he can explain this mystery. An immensely educated and eloquent man like him must be able to shed some light on it.
Here he is launching his programme in Sweden.
"I see no reason why taking a routine rectal DNA sample should be seen as any more instrusive than using words such as "Good day, Madam."
"Ah. Sandwiches. How lovely."
If you have a Face Book you can become a 'fan' and read the full extent of his wisdom, or even receive his 'Tweets' (whatever they are!). Here is his Face Book page.
Some people - Luddites, so they are - are opposed to the government's plan to centralize all information on the internet - or 'cloud computing' as the boffins call it. They say it's not secure. They say it could be misused, or even lost! Honestly, some people will pick holes in anything won't they, especially if it's going to improve our lives. Tall poppy syndrome. Sir Bonar, on the contrary, assures us that it is perfectly safe and will be securely encrypted by the boys in Cheltenham. It will be called the G-Cloud - not the G-spot, as Sir Bonar jokingly (I think) calls it. It will save the government loads of money - and no risk of losing our records any more - unless the internet blows up of course!
We, the taxpaying public, are apparently the owners of a number of Europe's banks now. Did they tell us when we would get our dividends? I don't even remember expressing an interest in buying a bank. Well apparently I'm a part owner of Dexia now, and don't even have a say in how it's run. The bankers, on the other hand, who caused all this mess, are still getting massive bonuses. I must have missed something somewhere, as I can't quite understand how this works. I'm sure they know what they're doing. It's just me, I'm too dim to understand. I'm going to write to Sir Bonar to see if he can explain this mystery. An immensely educated and eloquent man like him must be able to shed some light on it.
Here he is launching his programme in Sweden.
No comments:
Post a Comment