It hasn't stopped raining (with one or two exceptions) since the end of May. We are now past the mid-July mark. It rained last Sunday. St Swithin's Day. That means we've got another 40 days of it. Which takes us to the end of August. If I hadn't gone to Seville with the K.N.O.B., I wouldn't have got to paint my toenails at all this year!
I may move to the top of a mountain. I think whatever happens I shouldn't make long-term plans in Belgium. The Low Countries are going to join Atlantis sooner or later and then take root in popular mythology. There will be episodes of Dr Who about the Search for the Lost Kingdom of Belgium. It will become the stuff of legend. Picture the scene:
Young boy: But grandad, Belgium's just a fairy tale! It never really existed.
Grandad: No son, you're wrong. There really was once a country where the streets were paved with chocolate and all the shops were closed on Sundays, and the people in the north spoke a language that has been lost, and only a few old schoolteachers in South Africa and parts of Indonesia can decipher the ancient texts.
Young boy: Ha ha! Shops closed on Sunday! That's just too far-fetched, grandad. Did I tell you we're going to Mars with the school this year?
The mythology of the future will recount that the Mannekin Pis was a little boy who drank too much Leffe and couldn't stop weeing, and drowned his fellow countrymen. A little Dutch boy put his finger in the dyke to try to stop the flood spilling over into Holland, but failed and was washed away in a tsunami of Belgian urine. Even Tintin couldn't save them.
10 comments:
Looks like Brel was right., Daphnee.
PS: One cannot drink too much Leffe...
Its raining so bad that Worcestershire got washed away. Or something. I'm sure that's what it said on the news.
Aaaaah Stingray - my second favourite Gerry Anderson series. I was never very keen on Troy Tempest though, Bones was my favourite.....and of course I always wanted to be Marina Aqua Marina!!!
Come back to Brussels - it's National Day!
First one to say anything about dutch boys and lesbians wins a prize.
First one to say anything about a belgian toddler pissing on a dyke gets a glasgow kiss. Sickos.
And yes, I was in Glasto, but SPIRITUALLY i was somewhere else. I can't exactly remember where, but the stench was awful.
Allei, bon, Vive la Belgique, tout ca.
If you acquire Marina's skills, Lady Daphne, you'll thrive underwater. She always swam in her best clothes and they never seemed to shrink. Pity that Tempest was a lovelorn ninny who never had the courage to take her in his arms. She'd have had more fun with an octopus. I believe Tempest's junior colleague was called 'Phones', Scouse Doris.
Cream, didn't Brel sing Do Not Leffe Me, or something like that?
JJ, I just drove from Oxon to Bucks through scenes of horror and carnage. The saddest sight was an entire allotment under three feet of water. Vera Slapp has dug out the kayaks from the shed as she is expecting the Thames to break its banks any minute now.
Doris, Bones is in Star Trek. I wanted to be Marina too. How come we both saw ourselves as the submissive one who never speaks? Atlanta was the sassy southern belle who wanted to get her paws into Troy's waterproofs.
Scrumpy, you are in refained company here, nobody else saw a double entendre in "a finger in the dyke". I think you must have been in Glasgow, spiritually. Or possibly hell, although I hear they've cleaned it up a lot recently.
GB, she would certainly have had more fun with the octopus featured in one of my previous posts. If it rains anymore here in England, we shall all be swimming in our best clothes, watching our second best clothes floating past. It is starting to make a monsoon in the rainforest look like a passing shower.
I've got a theory that Britain is going to split across the middle and there will be a canal of Suez like proportions dividing the north and the south and the Midlands will be an Atlantis.
Pi, if that happens, Britain-south will take the Euro, the kilometer and copious public holidays - complete with bridge days. Britain-north (consisting mostly of Yorkshire), will not; because as they all say up there "Change is not good. See thee later."
Oh, and nobody will care if the Midlands vanishes. (I should be safe, they're all currently holed up in a community centre on high ground in Dudley).
Gonna read all this soon - promise!
Is your name an alternative to 'Rainbow'?
Like the stuff - always...except when you get beyond me then I have to lie down for a while...
I went out for several months with a Daphne. She was too good for me sadly, but her Dad had an OBE for tea planing.
Should have been 'tea planting'!
Bed I think...
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