PRIDE OF BELGIUM

Tervueren Belgian Shepherd Kyte, who plays Wellard in Eastenders

Leaving aside the fictional (Hercule Poirot, Dr Evil, Tintin), not human (the Smurfs, Wellard from Eastenders, Jean-Claude Van Damme), or those the Belgians themselves are a bit embarrassed about (Marc Dutroux, Plastic Bertrand, Yves Leterme the current Prime Minister who thinks his country shares a national anthem with France), if you can't name five famous Belgians in the pub quiz, you deserve to be paraded through the town with a bell round your neck.


Despite not qualifying for Euro 2008 or any other football tournament of note in recent years, Belgian has nothing to be ashamed of in the sporting department. Its two recently retired stars Justine Henin-Ardenne and Kim Clijsters have dominated women's tennis for several years. Eddy Merckx and Jacky Ickx were two Belgian sporting icons, the first in cycling, the second in motor racing. The Belgians like to create sporting dynasties, Eddy Merckx's son Axel is part of the Belgian national cycling team, and Jacky Ickx's daughter, Vanina, is also a racing driver. I just hope for her sake the sub-editors on the sports pages are careful with her name.

Names that end in -ckx are typically Belgian. Over time the 'c' became redundant, so it is possible that the following were also of Belgian origin: Karl Marx (Marckx), who later wrote the Manifesto of the Communist Party in a pub on the Grand'Place, Stevie Nicks (Nickx), erstwhile warbler with Fleetwood Mac, and Jimi Hendrix (Hendrickx). I rather like the idea of Jimi Hendrix being Belgian, it would sit very well with the little known fact that Marvin Gaye once lived in Ostende (where he wrote Sexual Healing, possibly under the influence of Westmalle Tripel which is known for its aphrodisiac qualities).

Listening to Classic Vingt-et-un in the bath last Sunday, I heard a vaguely familiar song from 1969, "Daydream" by the Wallace Collection -- who, I was amazed to learn, were a Belgian band! I almost dropped my chips in the bathwater. The famous hippy anthem was recorded at Abbey Road studios and was heavily influenced by the Beatles' "Hey Jude", with added plagiarism of Tchaikovsky's "Swan Lake" accompanied by appalling dancing and lots of dry ice. For the information of anyone under 50, this is not a sequence from "Austin Powers".

This post was not brought to you by the Belgian tourist office.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIR!

I very much enjoyed the birthday concert in Hyde Park last night in honour of Nelson Mandela who is 90. McChe and I had a small glass or two of South African Shiraz to toast the great man while we watched it on Dutch TV, and enjoyed the music so much we ended up dancing in the front window. Again. We are starting to become something of a local tourist attraction. I am amazed he is not Sir Nelson - or even better, Lord Nelson! Perhaps the Queen could give him the gong she's just taken back from Robert Mugabe?

It is also the birthday of another great inspirational figure, who was not too self-important to pass on his birthday greetings to Mr Mandela:

TO A THISSULL

Last week the giant thistle growing in the front garden disappeared. It was over 4' high and in full bloom, its great purple hairy things bursting out all over. The gardener obviously didn't realize it was the national symbol of Scotland. Why should he, he's Moroccan.

McChe was inconsolable. While I searched vainly in the CD collection to find something Scottish and mournful, finally having to settle for Lulu's Greatest Hits, McChe stood in the open window overlooking the empty space in the herbaceous border and, clutching his can of Irn Bru, recited a verse from Burns:

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,

The trembling earth resounds his tread.

Clap in his walie nieve a blade,

He'll make it whissle;

An' legs, an' arms, an' heads will sned,

Like taps o' thrissle.

If you wish to leave a message of condolence, pop over to McChe's art blog which he has just revived by popular demand - oh all right, a passing enquiry from Tom Joad. If you don't, may I suggest you listen to "Gift of a Thistle" from the soundtrack of Braveheart, a beautiful piece of music, on my sidebar. Well you don't have a choice, actually, as the new Deezer embedded thingie switches itself on automatically. This could cause problems if you're reading this in the office. I was planning on putting some Ian Dury on next week.

NEW ORDER

And they want the Elgin Marbles back too?

Irish eyes may perhaps be smiling today at the chaos they have created in Brussels, but French eyes will be red and sore from crying. Beaten 4-1 by the Dutch! Les Bleus wuz robbed of their chance to wreak revenge on Italy for the 2006 World Cup final. The way this tournament is going, the big boys are going to go down like ninepins and we could end up with another shock result, like Greece lifting the trophy in Euro 2004. Which is bad news, as I've got a fiver on Spain in the office sweep. The old order is certainly crumbling, in football as in European politics.

On top of all the excitement of MPs resigning, the Irish referendum and Brom Man's visit, I was very busy on Monday and Tuesday supporting the KNOB's* participation in a two-day "fanfare" or brass band competition. Bert, Manfred, Otto and the boys were still on a high after Sunday's victory over Poland and insisted on finishing with Queen's "We are the champions". I kept schtumm and avoided any comparisons to 1939, just rubbed away quietly with my tin of Brasso and my duster until Bert's instrument shone like a spiegel. By the end of the week they weren't trumping quite so loud, but as far as Euro 2008 goes it's still springtime for Germany, winter for Poland and France. If this tournament gets any more like World War 2, it might perhaps be wise to learn the Russian for "Who are yer?"

Let's watch Greece lift the trophy in that gripping European Cup final once again.

*The Kurt Nachtnebel Oompah Band

WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SMILING

Congratulations to a nice Young Maaan on winning the Democratic nomination. He's got a smile that makes the lilac wanna grow, a voice that loosens knicker elastic and Bruce Springsteen singing his campaign song. With his well-cut suits and his lovely tan he has brought a new elegance to American politics.

I'm not sure how I feel about the possible future President of the United States being younger than me, but as a daughter of Hibernia (I'm a Harridan on my father's side) I can't help cheering on a fellow ethnic minority. He's Irish, you know. I'm not sure which part of Ireland the O'Bamas hailed from, but he looks like a Kerry man to me. The O'Bamas were not very good at geography, and instead of joining the hordes heading for America, went the wrong way and settled in Kenya. I do hope he has not inherited their sense of direction.

He may not even win the race against the Republicans. You can say what you like about John McCain, but this superb campaign video will appeal to blue-collar workers and people of Belgian extraction.