Here's looking at you, kidsReaders, I am taking a leave of absence. It's not you, honestly. I just feel the need to hang up my bananas for a while and have a lie down. Being this fabulous takes a tremendous effort, and I have been humbled recently by such grandes dames as, for example, Clarissa Pouncer, who can speak fluent Latin and German, can stand around at a cocktail party for hours in high heels whilst simultaneously seducing Scottish engineers, gets comments in the high 40's and 50's and does it all so effortlessly - and she's not much older than moi! There was a time when I could disport my maracas with as much brio, but I feel lately that it's all a little too much at my time of life. I suspect my youthful excesses are catching up on me and, like a shooting star, my brilliance will burn intensely but not late into the night. I am therefore going to devote my remaining years to mastering the cryptic crossword and helping confused young men back on the path to a useful life.
Boys! Boys! Help me back to my bedchamber ...
80 comments:
Oh Daphne... what about 'Rhymes with Muff'?
Sx
I can't believe you're leaving us for good, Lady Daphne! That would be too awful to contemplate. We expect you to return for multiple farewell concerts, like Sinatra.
Oh dear. Still, have a lovely rest..
Somehow, "We'll always have Brussels" doesn't have the same ring about it, does it? Sounds like a cheap canteen.
Clarissa's great- but she's not you and God knows there is room for both of you.
I do sympathise but don't think you don't have ardent followers - you do. Have a break BAM but don't be gone forever - too much is disappearing just now.
Don't go, Daph, because I've gone, too. Who will fill the void?
Jesus, I'm tired.
Right.
Or mayhap she IS you.
Oh come on, you two. Get a grip! (Ahhh... )
The world will be a poorer place without your lighthearted wit and effortless charm, madame.
*blows a kiss*
Toi, dans un samedi d'automne...!
Et comme pour Quasimodo être ...Ho ! NON !
Plus de gentillesse ,NON !
plus de blagues sur mon Anglais ridicule ,NON !
Plus personne à qui adresser des mots ...d'A..." Affection , Amitié , Am...snif ! Amour ! NON !NON !NON !
Nos chemins se sont croisés
Nos regards sur ce monde se sont accrochés
Ton sourire est devenu mon soleil
Ta tendresse une grande merveille
Je t'embrasse avec la plus grande tendresse
On peut vivre sans richesse
Presque sans le sou
Des seigneurs et des princesses
Y'en a plus beaucoup
Mais vivre sans tendresse
On ne le pourrait pas
Non, non, non, non
On ne le pourrait pas
Une perle sans son écrin ,
C'est un clown qui meurt de ne plus faire rire !
I for one would miss you if you gave up blogging, Daffers, but it's your decision. If you've found something better please let me know what it is! (And don't be intimidated by the number of comments on Mrs Pouncer's blog - I'm sure she writes most of them herself). ;-)
Scarlet, "Rhymes with Muff" is still there for anyone who cares to delve deeper into the wonder that is moi, I shall add to it as and when I see another grande dame who has inpired me.
GB, I dare say this won't be my last hurrah. I may return in my present form, or in another guise, à la Oliver Gosling!
Auty, I nearly entitled this post "We'll always have Brussels" but came to the same conclusion as you.
Pat, thank you my dear for your kind words, and yes I know I have my fans, but I am just drained right now.
Can Bass, that's easy for you to say.
Farty, my dear, you are a charmer.
Crabtree, mon cher Crabtree, ce n'est qu'un au revoir. On se rencontrera sur les autres blogs et je ne cesserai jamais de faire des blagues sur ton anglais. Mais de ton coté, ne cesse pas de communiquer, en quelque langue que ce soit. Ton absence est toujours remarquée.
Gadjo, I'm only giving up temporarily, I don't have the time to devote to it.
Dear friends, you'll see me around your blogs, I'm not dead, just having a lie-down.
Put your feet up, crochet a scarf, eat a box of chocolates and watch a Bette Davis film.
A few days of that and you'll be itching to blog again.
Don't be a stranger!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
[gulp for air]
...ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh
Is this like one of those dramatic moments in animated movies where the old wise animal says to the young orphan that she's just going to lay down in the snow to have a rest and then the young one whimpers and tries to get her up but then she dies and then she vanishes in a cloud of blue twinklings stars?
Rebekah called, and I have an offer;
Would a column in the Sun and, say, a chat show on BSkyLifeStylePlus 2 be of interest to you ?
The usual stuff, interviewing Clooney ,Pitt, Richards, Jagger, Obama, and all those other pommy tossers*.
You'd have full editorial control**.
Due to dire economy, we're only offering £M4 a year***.
Call me !
Rupert
*Subject to availability.
**Not applicable.
***Conditions Apply.
"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."
My life is empty (and to cap it all it looks like Soufend next season). Sob.
Have some tea with cardamom,some pastries, sit for a while...but please don't stay away too long, you see, dear Daphne, it's that droll, dry style of yours that I like.
Hmmm, yes, are you...? Clarissa?
Kim, that sounds like a fine plan.
Bart, not so much of the old if you don't mind. I'm not dead, just dead tired. And when I go, it will be gold stars on a blue background.
Rupes, I've already worked for you (and Rebekah) once and it wasn't a happy experience. Clarissa might though.
GAMBO!!! You're still alive. I've missed you. Never mind, we'll always have Charlton.
GG, I shall spend my newly free time catching up on other blogs, such as your excellent tales of life in the tropics. And no, I am not Clarissa, honestly. Although I think I know who "Rupert" is. (Listens for sound of bagpipes).
Gee B.bart thanks for that! That's really lifted my spirits. NOT!
J'ai encore un peu de mal ,comment vais-je faire mes déclarations ?? ;)
Peut-être à la Bogart en allemand " Ich liebe dich Frau " ou en Bulgare " Обичам те Госпожо " en Tchèque peut-être " Miluji tě Madam " en Polonais ça c'est bien " Kocham cię, Pani, bez ciebie świat jest szalony "
Ou comme ceci !
A change is as good as a rest and we all need a respite from the inkwell every so often.
I think that you are fabulous and I sincerely hope that your intent is to procure a modest departure from the tedium and go forth and smell the flowers.
I'm off on a tangent because I painted myself into a corner trying to keep up with about 100 Blogs and still find time to write HELLO!
So I decided to just run around and make a complete nuisance of myself on other blogs for a few weeks.
It is quite liberating and perhaps after pestering others for a while they will beg me to bugger off and start writing again..
or not HA!
I would love to have a partner in crime. How would you like to be Kay Sarah for a few weeks?
whatEVER will be, will be.
I will keep checking for a comeback post. Just added myself as a follower - obviouslya bit too late - as per!
Daphne, forgive me. I tried, God knows I tried, but there's something about circumspection that always escapes me. So, I am back. A shameless Jezebel with the language of the gutter and the morals of the sewer (Fridays only).
Pat, Bart is a bit of a drama queen.
Crabtree, qui m'aime peut m'attendre.
Mr Coppens, your constant changes of persona are making me quite dizzy. Who was it who said "If he didn't spend so much time running around looking for himself he might stand a chance of finding himself" ? Oh it was Dave down the pub, but wise words nonetheless.
Doris, all followers welcome - I'll text you when I feel ready to face the world again.
Clarissa, thank God one of us is keeping the aspidistra flying. Just commenting is taking up all my time. I don't retire for another 12 years - can you all wait that long? BTW dear I will be down your way around Christmastime, any chance of a cup of tea and a kosher scone in Debenham's?
I dunno - Saturday just isn't the same!
Where is Saturday's post?
Sx
I STILL cannot comment.
Whenever I think of it I feel sick.
Ha! You thought I was just bluffing dincha. D'you know, I really enjoyed just lying on the sofa this weekend watching the snow falling, and not feeling any compunction to be witty. Snow all gone this morning, sadly.
Oh I'll be back before Christmas, I'm sure. Just don't comment too loud while I'm trying to rest.
May I revive one of Aunty M's favorite fillers while you're waiting for me to recover my sense of humour? A game of Mornington Crescent, perhaps? Shall I start?
Manor Park.
(Manor Park is only used in the amateur game, Daph, but no matter.)
Bromley-by-Bow.
I take it we're playing to the Livinstone Itergrated Transport rules 2002c.
Pudding Mill Lane.
prefran
Royal Ascot before Dettori.
Mrs P - you play professionally?
Gambo, yes of course. Why else would I have started with Manor Park? (Actually I meant Manor House but got over excited when I saw that my comments had hit 37, matching my previous record on the Gay Umbrella post. I should resign more often).
WVC, if I get home tonight and find you singing "Maybee it's becorze oim a Landaner" to your can of McEwans, you'll wish you'd never been born.
Mrs P, age before beauty.
Oh not that bloody M.C. again. Look I've just mastered Haiku and at my age that's impressive but M.C. is a step too far.
Revenons a nos moutons, if you don't mind.
Daph played Manor Park
I came in with Bromley-by-Bow
Gambo went with Pudding Mill Lane
My turn - Amersham
Yes, Daphne, I do play professionally; you have probably caught sight of my column in the Guardian (back page; next to A Countryman's Notes). They call me the Rixi Markus of Lots Road, you know. I am best known for my classic diagonal openers. That's how I met Maroon. He was playing his controversial Balham Thrust at the national championships last year, but I finessed him with my Brondesbury Park.
I thought Mrs Pouncer had come in with a blinding Haiku to satisfy PI - not quite though eh!
Dark dark Manor Park
Bromley-by-Bow in the snow
Windy Pudding Mill
New Cross Gate
Gambos off to deepest Pembrokeshire now! Keep it up girls.
Ladies, Turnham Green.
Bank!
Oh sorry, thought I was on the Weakest Link for a minute.
Your prerogative illegal or not, so Bank; right, I’ll get us back on track with Cannon Street.
What's illegal about Bank? It's allowed under EU Directive EUCOM/MC/99/576a.
Really? Those bloody Eurocrats! Can't keep their little continental mitts off anything.
Sorry to be such a putz Daphne, but Bank was a Boris Inversion and you know it.
descoser
Cannon Street, Maroon? A reliable blocker, as usual.
Umm.
Aldgate East.
As a matter of principle I am adding another comment here to even the score in your race with our dear Mrs Pouncer.
As the two of you are my favorite polyglots I have prepared a little surprise.
You are prolly unaware that I speak fluent Strine, several regional dialects of Merkin, and of course being Canadian, je parle H'anglash da bast.
Maintenant, for your listening pleasure, and as a sign of my utter impartiality, I shall simultaneously sing Les paumés du petit matin/De Nuttelozen van de Nacht, en français et auf Deutsch.
Enjoy.
Ils s'éveillent à l'heure du berger,
zu auf der Stunde von steigen...
dammit that's a little wonky.
Can I start over?
52-49 to Mrs P. An eery parallel with the US election results.
I see your Aldgate East and raise you Kensington High Street.
In baseball, the rarest of rare plays (only 14 in over a century) is the unassisted triple play. It is possible, but even harder and rarer, in MC. Here is one.
Old St; Whitechapel; Ealing Broadway.
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.
Inky! Now, that is impressive. Remind me, you won the Armitage Shanks Charity Bowl last year, didn't you?
Barons Court.
Ooh, Crockfords rules, Daphne! I've got a straight: Leicester, Euston and Celebrity Squares.
MORNINGTON CRESCENT!!!!!!!
Isn't it?
No it ain't.
Celebrity Square is not a mainline station. Why do I always have to be Cassandra? Is it cause I is Scotch?
You could however, have said Paddington, played your marmalade joker (double turn) THEN, MORNINGTON CRESCENT.
Playing amateurs at MC is like playing women at billiards.
You're in Croup, my good doctor. Paddington's not valid under the parambulation rule (see Stovold).
Kensal Rise.
Fuck! Undone.
Harrow-on-the-Hill
Blast! Ether crossing.
We're neck and neck now, 58 comments each. Come on Dover, move yer bloomin' arse!
That's just inspired me: Crouch End. That'll get it up - the number of posts, I mean.
Cockfosters! While we're on the subject ...
Kensal Rise
Arsenal
Floyd Road
Who's this Comment Deleted bloke. Can someone explain the rules to him please (and me!).
Mornington Crescent.
I have been contacted by Mr Claude Thirst, an independent film-maker, who wants to make a series of low-budget Mornington-themed movies. He wants me and Maroon to feature in his epic From Here to East Tilbury, and wonders if Daphne might consider a cameo in Guys and Dollis Hill.
Not Mornington Crescent yet, Mrs P. She's thinks it's all over,... Wembley ... maybe it is now, Daphne?
Floyd Road is not even on the integrated network - unless we now count bus stops? The nearest you can get is Cutty Sark, and that's only if you accept the third DLR amendment (1995). Should Gambo be disqualified, or simply taken out and shot?
I therefore suggest we go back to Arsenal and start again.
Oh goody!
Is the integrated network in or out; I was thinking of Elmers End?
Sod it, Neasden.
Still trying to work out why this blog managed to skip my browsing so often.
Arsenal it is then...
sod it...
Turnham Green. Just for the hell of it.
no, you sod it.
Neasden.
Sorry Daphne, I don't normally stoop to cheating. Please forgive. Because it was Friday yesterday you will know that the short rules only apply and from the 2nd turn in reverse order during November. Please also remember rule 7b: All Egyptian moves are disallowed except crossovers and double takes.
Please avoid all surface lines that back onto Mrs Trellis's home between 7pm and 7am on a Saturday.
Theydon Bois
Masterful.
This blog has got far more entertaining since I stopped posting.
I'm having another weekend off.
Mile End.
Oooh I haven't had a good game of MC since... since...
Mile End?
Let's see - Monday night but since I am in another time zone it counts as Tuesday for you... so under Rushton's Play, I'll now play Aldwych.
Now get out of that!
I don't want to be cruel, you being from (in) South America and all, but this is allowed under the 2001 anti-terrorism law:
Stockwell.
Leicester Squit
(Armitage Shanks Charity Bowl variation applies)
Cracking playlist Daph, very clever.
Has Gerry Rafferty turned up yet? I rather see him leaning over the rail of a ferry to the Isle of Skye with the seagulls singing along to the sax solo from Baker Street, "You're going, you're going home ..."
He might always be down Baker Street.
You were always way too good for this 'forever young' world Daphne.
Your wit and insight will be sadly missed,
Peter in Antwerp, Belgium
This game of Mornington Crescent is going nowhere. Soddit - MORNINGTON CRESCENT!! and I'll be back on Saturday.
Eighty ? Wow.
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