ABLE WAS I
Getting it up for JosephineI was in Corsica for five days last week. Corsica's main claim to fame is as the birthplace of Napoleon Bonaparte, French national hero, as commemorated by Napoleon Bonaparte International Airport, the Hotel Napoleon where I stayed, cours Bonaparte the main drag of the capital .... you get the picture. He is their most famous son, and like Ronaldo, Jordan and Sting, is known by just his first name. Despite the fact that he was a dictator, he is revered by all the French as the man who saved France from the Terror of the Revolution, codified the law, rewrote the military handbooks, gave France an empire and kept the English at bay. (Until Waterloo, anyway)
Monument to Boney in Bastia main square
Monument to Boney in Bastia main squareFrenchwomen secretly have the hots for Napoleon. I knew one elderly lady in Paris who confessed she had had an erotic dream about Napoleon that was so intense she had never forgotten it. She kept a portrait of him on her wall, and blushed slightly every time she looked at it. He obviously wasn't nicknamed Boney for nothing. He was married twice, to the ravishing Josephine who was not, contrary to popular legend, remotely black. She was born in the French West Indies, the child of wealthy white settlers. She was unable to give him an heir so he dumped her for Marie-Louise of Austria. He had many lovers, the most famous of which was perhaps Countess Maria Walewska, the famed Polish beauty, with whom he had a son. The Empress Eugénie is often mistakenly mentioned in connection with Bonaparte, she was in fact the wife of Napoleon III, his nephew, the last monarch and first President of France, and in my humble opinion infinitely more interesting than his megalomaniac uncle.
Pauline was Napoleon's sister, and at 22 was already a wealthy widow. Her Paris home, the Hotel de Charost, is now the British Ambassador's residence, and some bits of her furniture are still there. I have bounced on Pauline Bonaparte's bed. Pauline, like her brother, had a healthy sexual appetite. It is said that every man who wished to court the lady had to bring her a clock. There are 100 clocks in the house, and a little man has to come in once a month to wind them all.
Napoleon wasn't tiny, this is a myth created by the English who wished to diminish him. He was in fact about 5'7" which is pretty standard for a Frenchman. However, many Frenchmen of restricted growth model themselves on Napoleon.
Pauline was Napoleon's sister, and at 22 was already a wealthy widow. Her Paris home, the Hotel de Charost, is now the British Ambassador's residence, and some bits of her furniture are still there. I have bounced on Pauline Bonaparte's bed. Pauline, like her brother, had a healthy sexual appetite. It is said that every man who wished to court the lady had to bring her a clock. There are 100 clocks in the house, and a little man has to come in once a month to wind them all.
Napoleon wasn't tiny, this is a myth created by the English who wished to diminish him. He was in fact about 5'7" which is pretty standard for a Frenchman. However, many Frenchmen of restricted growth model themselves on Napoleon.
My hotel in Bastia had a view of the island of Elba, where Napoleon was first exiled.
Elba, at dawn, with the night ferry arriving from Nice.By a combination of boot power and marrying his family members into European royalty, Napoleon controlled many neighbouring countries and made a fair crack at uniting Europe, whilst showing the old money like the Habsburgs and the Bourbons who was boss. Not surprising that the French idolize him, whilst admitting he was a bastard. They continue this tradition in their football.
Talking of football, let us contemplate a haiku in honour of the first President of Europe, who is an Anderlecht supporter:
Talking of football, let us contemplate a haiku in honour of the first President of Europe, who is an Anderlecht supporter:
Herman Van Rompuy -
His name is only funny
if you are British
His name is only funny
if you are British
