But here’s something you might not know: the Communist Manifesto was written here in Brussels. In an inn. The Swan, to be exact, on the Grand’Place, where a plaque was put up this week to commemorate the very place where the opus was penned by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. Apparently the people who run the restaurant now occupying the building are not too happy about it, they fear they will lose customers. Particularly Americans. Personally I think they needn’t worry, the Americans will flock to eat in a tavern once frequented by one of the Marx Brothers.
Now think about this. A pamphlet which launched the international Communist movement, and following on from that the Russian Revolution, the Cold War, the division of the world for half a century bringing the planet to the brink of oblivion, not to mention the invasion of Hungary in 1956 and Czechoslovakia in 1968, the gulags, and the butchery of the Chinese cultural revolution, was written in a pub. A pub. Ye gods, it might as well have been sketched out on the back of a beermat. Picture the scene:
(The Swan pub, Brussels. 1847)
Marx: “I see Anderlecht lost to Man U, then.”
Engels: “Yeah. That penalty was a diabolical liberty. The referee should have been shot, blind twat. You writing it up for the Sport?”
Marx: “Too right. The tabloids are where the money is. I’m jacking in the revolution, I'm going to be a sports writer. I didn’t see the match, though. Here, talk me through it, I’ll make a few notes on the back of this old manuscript and turn in a clean copy to the Sport first thing tomorrow.”
Engels: “I’ll tell you something for nothing, that Prussian ref has got to be one of the great wankers of the world, even so, United were the stronger team, they’re through to the next round of the Cup, they’ve got nothing to lose now, but they need to change the line-up before they face Bayern.”
Marx: (scribbles) “’Wankers of the world … United … nothing to lose …. but a change,’ … right, pint of smooth was it mate?”
(Many pints later)
Marx: “Fred, you’re my besht mate, jew know that?”
Engels: “I love you, Charlie, I really, really, do ….”
Marx: “I can’t read a bloody word of this, my handwriting’s fucking terrible … have I ever told you my theory about the ownership of the means of production ….”
(Fade to red …)
30 comments:
Daffers, dear girl.
"I’ll make a few notes on the back of this old manuscript..."
As a journalist, I resemble that remark.
As if any journo would write anything up on the back of an old manuscript while down the pub.
Didn't they have beermats and fag packets back then?
Tx
There's nothing you can't tell me about journos, Tippler, I worked at Wapping in one of my previous lives. I have picked Peter Stothard's trousers up off the floor.
I don't think we ought to go there.
Anyway, you are now linked from my blog site, girl.
And when we set up the blog page on www.upfront-live.com, I'll stick a link on there too.
Tx
Flattery will get you everywhere, young man. Would you like to take down my particulars? Might as well as no other bugger but you seems to be reading my blog any more. Sniff. Pat, GB, f:lux, Sam, Maroon, Banana, have you all forsaken me? Was it something I said? Or are you all sitting holding your breath wondering where this conversation with Tippler is going?
Talking about communism: the International hymn was written by a Belgian too.
No wonder communism died away.
And stop feeling sorry for yourself, comrade! Nobody feels bad in the workers paradise! Only feeble imperialist capitalists feel sorry for themselves!
Were there a few wenches about too when they wrote that thing?
We were in a state of semi-communism here for almost 30 years. Twas not nice, not nice at all.
You know a lot about football for a high class woman, Lady Daphne. A casual interest in the pastimes of the vulgar is OK, but I hope you're not doing because you like a bit of rough.
No I wa just sitting here - mouth agape - waiting for the next aticle to be dropped. Would never forsake you.
Don't take any notice of Gor-Ban; he had the temerity to tell beautiful Sam she looked tired "and she knew she had failed" (old ad - don't worry about it!)
Darlink
Not ignoring you here. I've been busy putting a creative proposal together for Dolly's company. It's been very exhausting.
Darlink
Not ignoring you here. I've been busy putting a creative proposal together for Dolly's company. It's been very exhausting.
Being a child of the Revolution (That's what Papa calls the Algerian War.) I think I'll have myself a pint of Ruby Red at the Swan, next time I head across the Channel...
As a restaurateur, I'd be a bit Grouchy too!
not ignoring you either, old girl. i'm just shocked at your profanity - it's so UN-YOU.
i've also spent the past two days with my face glued to barry.
Bart, Belgium's got a lot to answer for in the general scheme of things.
GG, Mrs Marx was thrown in prison on trumped-up charges because of her man's political activity. That's standing by your man.
GB,I pride myself on my ability to fit in with all levels of society, from the Ambassador to his driver. But I sort of understand where Lady Chatterley was coming from too.
Pat, Gor-Ban sounds vaguely Jewish, or perhaps he was Superman's dad?
Banana, that's all right dahlink, stand by your man. I'll still be here when you've finished being creative.
Cream (after Banana! ha ha) - there is a new Franco-Algerian film out here about the Algerian war which I want to see, starring Djemel Debbouze and Sami Naceri (phwoarrr), I will send a detailed report when I have seen it.
Zed, ignore me at your peril. I know where you live.
I'm still popping in as usual Daffers, I just couldn't think of anything to say lately. See, boring comment... But you asked for it!
That explains all those socialist slogans I saw graffitied around the place. Why is there so much graffiti in Brussels anway?
I think Engels was a Hammers fan.
Good riddance to bad rubbish!
Geez next to eviscerating the Congo this may be the next thing to avoid mentioning about my Belgian roots.
Oh well could be worse..atleast now we know that they WERE drunk!
If only you could have told 'the workers of the world' back in '47.
It's a little known fact that the Declaration of Independence was written down the pub too.
"We hold these pints/willies(much giggling)/truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed (more giggling, mainly by Ben Franklin while John Hancock rolled his eyes at the others but was unable to say much on account of his unfortunate second name under the circumstances) by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights (unless you are a Mexican alien), that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of... Here they had a problem and fisticuffs were thrown. After the fisticuffs had been picked up, the assembled settled to the task of deciding what it is America should really be all about: Life, Liberty and Overeating? Life, Liberty and Drive-Through Wedding-Chapels? (This from Jefferson). Or Happiness. They picked Happiness, amidst much grumbling: some thought it too bland; some wanted "And Wenches For All (Jefferson again); and some thought an alliteration was snappier - Life, Liberty and License.
If you look very carefully at the bottom right-hand corner of the original document you can just make out the popcorn-greased thumbprint of Sam Adams, and the whole thing was nearly lost to Franklin splashing his Olde Ale around while showing off about his new "spectacles".
hang on - johnny halliday was only recently made belgian. what about audrey hepburn ? a lady of your class should give many cries of admiration for that wonderful, wonderful, belgian woman.
i think i've lost the plot as i've certainly forgotten my point.
Wasn't Audrey Dutch, Zoe - I could swear...bugger!
Daphne I shortened Gorilla Bananas to Gor Ban. Doesn't everybody? My fingers get tired!
Guess what? Zoe is right. Sorry!
If I had to stay at a Belgian Inn and eat Belgian food, I would start a world revolution too.
Flux, I'd visit your blog more often but (a) I'm submerged with work (b) have no internet access from home and (c) still have that stupid problem with Blogger and can't see anything on your blog later than 8th August! Things can only get better (as they're singing again at the Labour Party Conference this week).
Shad Cab, graffiti is a universal problem but maybe the Belgian cartoon obsession spills over onto the walls here, there are even cartoons or BD's (bandes dessinees) painted onto some houses and you can follow a "BD trail" across town. I'll be doing a post about BD's soon. With illustrations.
HE, King Leopold II, Marc Dutroux and Dr Evil were three of the most bad men the world has ever known, and they were all Belgian. Thank God for Hercule Poirot and Tintin.
Sam, I'm glad to hear it's not just Europeans who change the world over a few pints in the pub! I always thought the American Dec of Ind sounded a bit woolly, now we know why.
Zoe, "give many cries of admiration" ?? I don't know about the plot, but you're certainly losing your English. Johnny has always been known to be Belgian, even though he only asked for the passport recently.
Pat, Audrey was divine, wherever she was from. With a face and a voice like that she couldn't have been 100% British. Her cockney accent in My Fair Lady was worse than Dick Van Dyke's in Moiry Parpins.
Vicus, there are some nice things to eat in Belgium. Chocolate. And chips.
Audrey was born in Ixelles, apparently.
Er, that's it for her Belgian connection though.
As for Lady Chatterly, Daffers, righto - I'll get me gumboots and spade.
See you round the back of the rhododendrons...
I saw that Marx in the James Joyce the other day, chatting with Herbert Spencer.
I saw them orf with a well-placed cutting remark about how dowdy their fashion lines have become of late.
They stared into their pints, cut to the quick by my repartee.
As an active journo (two conflicting terms in one compound noun) and semi historian, I would say that as long as said pub meets the objective conditions dictated by the dialectic, I'd get fed and sloshed there anytime as long as the beer's strong and there's some decent Walloon cooking.
JOHNNY HALLIDAY IS A FROG. give us jacques, or jean-claude - actually, forget the latter, hergé, justine, kim and toots - et voilà, chère ignoramous. i must edimicate you.
Daphne: have just discovered the answer to a little problem(like publishing a post) has been solved by pressing refresh. No applause please.
Well, I don't think that Johnny Smet or Jean-Philippe Halliday would've been as popular. And now that he's in the wine business, he gets my vote!
Looks like you're talking about Indigènes...I googled it and I hope I'll see it one day...Ta!
I like Djamel Debbouze a lot! Very funny!
Tippler, I dream of finding Mellors in my herbaceous border. Or even better, Big Tommy Walsh.
Aunty, you are a dominatrix of the first order. Some men would pay a lot of money to be spoken to like that.
FE, if you can still say dictatorship of the proletariat, you're sober enough to drive home.
Zoe, it's igoraMUS. But of course you knew that didn't you.
PAT BLESS YOU!!!!! I don't have a refresh button but right-clicked on the mouse and selected "reload" and hey presto it worked! (Dancing round handbag).
Cream, Debbouze ought to be in the wine business with a name like that. Geddit? You must be psychic, I've just left a message at your place about Indigenes!
Yes, I do geddit! You must be fluent!!
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